I'M A GENIUS!!!

I CREATED A WORD TODAY!!  Well not really a word, maybe a mash up of words.  Just wanted to get it out there that I created it before someone like Donald Trump steals it.  Yes, I said it!!!  I was firing people LONG BEFORE the Donald!!  He stole it from me!!! 

Anyway, my word is.............wait for it........Super-Fablo-Awesome!!! 

DON'T BITE IT!!! 

This post is being created on my Hubby's laptop, cause mine is still dead.....thanks for caring.

I can't get enough...

I really love to laugh.....I mean that gut busting, about to pee your pants laughing. It helps my day to laugh at any and every stupid thing. Youtube and other sites have helped me to reunite with all my favorite comics.

My cousin and I (at age 12 & 16yrs old) used to sneak and listen to my grandaddy's collection of comedy tapes. He had all the classics, Andrew Dice Clay, Moms Mabley, Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx. Then we would try to retell the jokes to our friends. Mannnnnnn, would we get in trouble.


Here is one of my favorites.....The late Robin Harris.

It's our anniversary.....anniversary.

Even though The Huz and I have been going through a (Oh-my-god-I-can't-even-stand-to-be-around-you-right-now) rough patch we still decided to celebrate our wedding anniversary. We've never been on a honeymoon or a real vacation that was without the kids or that didn't involve a funeral, family reunion or some other type of family visit.

Actually, we rarely have moments alone without the kids out in public. This mainly stems from the fact that we are in a city away from both our families and we(mainly me) don't trust many folks with my children.

But I digress....back to the anniversary.

Soooo, The Huz planned for us to go to a swanky resort in Orlando with lush accomodations and the whole nine.

We planned to go to a local comedy club, have dinner at our favorite seafood buffet and chill later with drinks.

Well, being that we never do anything in order, we started the evening with drinks, THENNN, went to the seafood buffet. We ate like kings and queens.

I love seafood....ALOT. Our family meal budget really doesn't allow for us to eat it as much as I'd like but, so this was a real splurge for us. So any chance to eat lobster, sushi, crab legs, mussels, clams, shrimp, I'm all for it.

At $37.95 per person(not including drinks), you damn right it was a splurge.

Soooo, we had drinks BEFORE the restaurant, drinks AT the restaurant and eventually never made it to the comedy club.

------------------------------>Enter in jacuzzi tub<-----------------------------

Back at the hotel, The Huz thought it would be a great idea for us to BOTH get into the tub and soak for a while. Okay cool.

After my foot massage and a few drinks, anything goes.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS MATERIAL THAT IS NOT FOR AN AUDIENCE WITH WEAK STOMACHS. PLEASE EMPTY ALL BEVERAGES FROM YOUR MOUTH AT THIS TIME, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY LIQUIDS THAT COME IN CONTACT WITH YOUR LAPTOP, PC, MOUSE, OR KEYBOARD. ANY DAMAGES THAT RESULT FROM YOU READING THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

So after soaking in the jacuzzi tub, with ANOTHER COUPLE DRINKS we figure out how to turn on the jets.

Me: Wow, those jets are super strong, is there a way to turn them down?
Huz: No, there's only two settings, on and off.
Me: Wow, those jets are super strong, is there a way to turn them down?
Huz: Baby, you're a little tipsy aren't you?
Me: Wow, those jets are super strong, is there a way to turn them down?
Huz: No baby, just relax, they feel good.
Me: Wow, those jets are super strong, is there a way to turn them down?
I'm *burp* feeling those jets anymore.
Huz: I'll turn them off in a little while.
Me: Wow, those jets are super strong, is there a way to turn them down?
I'm *burp* feeling those jets anymore.

BLLLLAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Yes, folks I threw up. EVERYTHING. I. ATE. And if you were paying attention you would have caught a couple of things.

1. The restaurant was a SEAFOOD BUFFET.
2. I'm a big girl(refer to my picture) and I love my seafood.
3. I asked 5 times to have the jets turned down or off.
4. I had consumed quite a few alcoholic drinks.
5. I have dreadlocks that are all the way down to my butt(refer to my picture).
6. I'm a bit of a germa-phobic person.
7. I repeat myself alot when I'm a little tipsy.
8. We never made it to the comedy club.

Last but not least, I was not in the tub alone.

I threw up the ENTIRE contents of my stomach IN the jacuzzi tub ON TOP of myself and The Huz. Sexy right. I got seafood on me, on The Huz, and in my fu**ing hair.

NEVER. AGAIN.

Happy Anniversary, baby here's to many more.

Not Bad, eh

While I' not one that usually follows closely what my horoscope says this one kinda peaked my interest today.


Sagittarius
November 22 - December 20
It may seem like everyone around you is happy and getting what they want, while you are still stuck in the trenches, dear Sagittarius. Don't compare yourself to other people and make judgments based on their outside appearances. The truth of the matter is that most likely they are only looking at the immediate future and only experiencing short-term pleasures. You, however, have your eyes set on the long haul, and will probably be much better off overall.

Provided by Astrocenter.com

Also, on another note, today is my best friend's birthday. I know you're reading chica, Happy Birthday!!

INTRODUCING....

my godson/nephew Garison Riley.

Isn't he beautiful!!!! He's been the reason for all the baby blues that have made their way back into my household.

The Huz has been hinting STRONGLY around the subject of having more kids. So has my best friend and my Mother-in-Law. They want more cute babies to show off. Let's face it we make some beautiful babies. Have I shown you pictures of my handsome son???

My son, The Professor is a handsome young man. I have already been warned by many that he's gonna be a lady killer and with my influence I plan on making him a strong, intelligent, self assured gentleman.

Back to Garison though.... any amount of time I spend with him makes my lady parts ache for another one. But then I remember the ache turns into pain!!!! Quickly!!! With my son's pregnancy, I had gall stones and they hurt worse than the c-section. I also did not get the joy of eating whatever I wanted because I was pregnant. I was on a super restricted diet and could only eat items that were no fat or low fat. That sucked big time!!! I had to hide my pregnancy for the first couple of months till the Huz(then Boyfriend) and I had made plans to start our lives together.

I still long to have a baby and walk around proud with my belly exposed for all the world to see. But then again, maybe I'm crazy as hell. What do you think??

Madness in my head

You know how you got a song/thought stuck in your head and you try and try to get it out of there. Well that where I'm at now.......on day 4 of the song on REPEAT in my head.

The song is one that The Professor and I both know. No one else in the fam knows it....I CHECKED!!

Maybe you know what it goes to???

Please help get the madness out of my head!!!

The Song

Oooooolie, oooolie, oooolie, rock is my home, rock is my home.

Oooooolie, oooolie, oooolie, rock is my home, rock is my home.

Maybe this is an omen for my future???

Maybe the a rock will be my home and

this is the chant to honor the rock for allowing me to crash there???

I think I need more sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know you're a FAT KID!!!

You know you're a fat kid if you score 18 out of 20 on the Candy Bar Identification Quiz!!!

You try and tell me how you do!!!

Current Events

Hello Imaginary Friends

Not much has been going on in the world of ME.

The Professor and Drama Princess have made it through the FCAT testing!!!! As for their teachers...well, I know they are relieved to have it over.

We bought a new van. Well, not a NEW van but it's one that I like alot. Aside from the color I love everything about the van. The kids & the dog like it too and it has seats that are separated, you know not the big bench seat. This helps a great deal with the Drama Princess fussing on The Professor. With her ADHD and attachment issues she does not know or respect boundaries and has to constantly be the center of every one's attention.

AT. ALL. TIMES.

She fusses on The Professor all the time and he usually just accepts it.

Although lately he's been paying her back for the many years of torture.

She used to call him names under her breath so I couldn't hear them.
He now calls her "ignoramus", over and over again. She hates words she doesn't know the meaning of.

She used to boss him around.
He now tells her to "get out of my space, ignoramus"

She would take toys, books, anything that seemed interesting to him and throw them.
He now hides her things and laughs when she walks in circles looking for them.

I usually have to closely ref their interactions with each other and make sure they don't get brutal but lately I can't help but let some of the stuff the Professor does slip by. I know it's not the "parentally responsible" thing to do. I just love the fact that The Professor is now standing up for himself and not taking her crap anymore.

I know, I know....I get the Bad Parent of the Year Award!!!!

Drama AKA My Sister

So I haven't blogged in a while......shoot me. No really I deserve a kick in the pants because more blogging was apart of my New Year's Resolutions.

I just had to let this go.....

Weeks ago I got a call from the Drama Princess' mom(AKA my sister) asking if she could come and scoop the 'D' Princess for a birthday party (weekend of March 7th) thrown for her girlfriend's son 'Cardo

(girlfriend like bow*wow*chicka bow*wow)

Yep, she's gay!!! Quite the shock to me too!!!

Sooooo, I agree and tell her okay not analyzing all the heavy variables around the dates.

Usually, the weekends spent with DP's mom are disasters waiting to happen
disasters like:

*not returning her on time(no, we are not awake expecting her back at 2am)

*returning her days later(school starts on Monday not Thursday!!!!!)

*returning her smelly

*returning her sick(with ear infections, coughs, diahrrea)

*returning her without feeding her(not a big deal right, try telling DP dinner was at 6pm and not 2am

*returning her with clothing you bought for her that looks like hooker uniforms

*not bringing back herMUCH NEEDED, VERY EXPENSIVE ADHD MEDS

*bring her back with NO SHOES OR JACKET or a combo of both

I hate dealing with any of the above mentioned things in any combonation. but I have to go through this because it is court ordered.

BOTTOM LINE THEY PISS ME OFF.

So now the variables,
this weekend is day light savings time(bad enough she is already late, now she'll be even later)
the big standardized test FCAT (that result in pass or fail 3rd grade)
she is always SUPER DUPER emotional after visits
there's a lot of traffic due to it being Bike Week(another reason to be late)

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

What the hell was I thinking!!!!

Big Girl Panties

Ladies & gentlemen,

I realize the past few post here have been quite negative, to say the least. But, I gotta tell you something.....adulthood, parenting & marriage is harder than it looks. No, really, I mean it.


So I did what most other people do when they are down in the dumps...I called my best friend.

I called her today and she told me that she did not want to hear any of my crap todayI told her I was gonna talk mean about her on my blog. She laughed....

Me: I need to vent, can I have a venting day.

Trina: No, I'm at work and besides you owe me, it's my turn to vent.

Me: Pleasssssseeeeeee.....

Trina: No, I can't give you the support you need today, besides, you vented the last few times, when do I get a chance.

Me: I'll be your best friend.....

Trina: Nope....no thanks. Stop begging, you sound sooo sorry.

Me: That's not nice...

Trina: Not meant to be. What are you wearing?

Me: A big girl outfit, why....

Trina: Look, I gotta go in a few to get my ass chewed by my supervisor. I need for you to pick your self up, go to your room and change underwear.

Me: Change underwear????? WTF... I'm already dressed.

Trina: I know, just do as I say. Pick out your favorite big girl panties, you know the ones that make you giggle like you know a secret no one else knows, strut your stuff in the mirror and see if you don't feel better. I gotta go.....kiss the kids for me, I'll call you tomorrow. Love you bunches..

Me: Change underwear???? WTF???

Trina: DO IT NOW!!!

So I did......and it worked!!!!

Nobody said big girl panties had to be ugly!!!

This is a card I made, in honor of big girl panties!!!!! She's gonna die laughing when I send her this!!!!

Unemployment Hell # 2

Today was a not so good day.....

Last week I interviewed for a super fabolous job. I just knew I was getting it. The hours & days were perfect. The pay was $14/hour. I would still be at home at a decent hour to handle the kids in the afternoons. Kinda close to home. I get government holidays off because it is a county job (which line up with school closings too.) At the close of the interview, one of the two ladies interviewing me kinda gave me the notion that I would be hearing from them soon.

What do you get when you assume......

I heard from them all right......they sent me a lovely rejection letter (addressed to another lady on the inside). Another thanks but no thanks type of letter.

I mean really people.....

I also saw on the Today show this clip with Tyra Banks saying that people were discriminated on because of their first name and assumed things about people based on prejudices.


' scrolling="no" frameborder="0" 20width="425" 20src="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/23234982#23234982">'>this clip,

Ya, think???

What comes to mind when you hear the first name SHANEKA??
Be honest!!!!

Clock Gobblers

Since being unemployed, I have found various ways to gobble the clock (waste time). Most of them involve all of my hobbies; crafting, photography, decorating. Here are some of my favorites:

Cut Out & Keep It--This is awesome for folks that like to "repurpose" trash lying around the house. There are some great tutorials in all kinds of catorgories.

Travel IQ Challenge--I am hooked on this game. You have seconds to locate different spots in the world. High scores are based on speed and how close (in miles) your guess is to the destination. The Professor loves this game and I'm trying to beat his high score.

DIYPhotography.net--This site gives great tutorials on how to play with your cameras and photo editing software.

Microsoft Encarta Quiz Page--I am the best at these quizzes. My brain is a storage of random facts and I do really good at these quizzes.


Instructables--This is a website full of people just like me...with TOO MUCH time on their hands. They have used this time to create some of the oddest things, food, art, crafts, home.

Did I mention that most of the insane tutorials have

pictures to show you exactly how-to??

Wanna build a wheelchair for your dog?

Wanna make Doritos & Onion Pie?

Wanna grow a square watermelon?

That's enough for now, I'll post more clock gobblers another day.

BTW, the job search is still looking dismal. Thanks for the encouraging words.

Sometimes Life Sucks....

I started this post off soooo negatively because sometimes it really does suck, life that is. Today, started off like every Monday in my eternal quest for gainful employment. I dropped The Huz off at the carpool at the ungodly hour of 5AM and saw The Professor & Drama Princess off to school. All of this was done by 7AM. I skipped making coffee to hurry out the door.

Thinking I was getting the jump on all other unemployed cohabitants of America, at the early hour, I set off with my local Sunday classifieds under my arm, all circled the night before, to job search, only to be met by at least 75 other slumps at my Local Unemployment Office.

Defeat before my first cup of coffee………

In my mind, I just knew that all of these people, lined up in the brisk morning air, had the SAME exact ads circled on their copy of the Sunday classifieds. But trying to stay encouraged I shook the negativity off. With freshly copied resumes’ in hand, I got in line, FUMING!!!!! Impatiently shifting my weight from foot to foot, in the most uncomfortable shoes I own, I waited my turn to use the fax machine. I overheard Slump # 63 say , “I shoulda brought a lawn chair and a cooler full of beer”.

My. Thoughts. Exactly.

When my turn came, I stepped up to the exceptionally warmed up fax machine, type in the first 3 digits of my number one job pick, only to have the sophisticated machine clairvoyantly guess the rest of the phone number!!!!!! I press the flashing green button to accept this chronically used number to send my resume to sulk in the pile of resumes that beat mine. When the fax transmission receipt printed, it said the number had been dialed 42 times on January 28, 2008.

F***!!!!!!!!!!

I actually showered & changed for this……..maybe I shoulda stayed in bed!!!!!

Come Drool with me!!!

Does this count as an actually fruit for my diet

Right now I'm drooling like a poor kid at the ice cream truck. These look soooo good!!!

Man I wish I had some money!!!!

If you have some money, go buy some for me, PRETTY PLEASE!!!!!!



Here is the LINK.

This is what I am grateful for...

"Drama Princess"

Daytona Beach---January, 2008

I know I don't say it enough...could I ever possibly. Princess, I love you. It is moments like these that I treasure. You were not born of me but I feel you are still apart of me.

I know I yell at you for alot of the things you do. I know, and I'm sorry. Sometimes I find it hard to parent you with all of your "quirks" that come with your ADHD and other issues. Your logic and reasoning does not match mine and that makes us constantly bump heads. I'm working on my patience as a parent.

I look back and remember how much progress you have made in life despite_______________(fill in the blank with one of your many issues).

I really and truely believe that your future will be bright and that you are a blessing to our family!!

Mommy/Auntie loves you!!!

Happy Birthday Sugar

Today 3 years ago I went to Petsmart to buy fish food and walked out with a dog. The Huz was talking about buying me a dog, and we had even went to the local pet shelter to search one out. They were all too big for our apartment or had too many issues. I was only in the store for fish food and was followed by a little fluff ball. Second Chance Rescue made weekend appearances at Petsmart with potential pups. After hearing My Sugar's story I had to give in....

Sugar was abandoned in Lousiana during Hurricane Katrina. The folks from Second Chance Rescue went and brought back animals that survived and nursed them all back to health. My Sugar was a lucky one. Sugar has a list of issues including she has to have her meals cooked for her due to her wheat & dye allergy and also has a severe flea allergy too. Did I also mention she has terrible separation anxiety and hates to be alone (must be a hurricane thing). She gets nervous and chews on whatever's close when she is left at home long.

3 years ago we adopted Sugar and ALL her issues and brought her home.

Happy Birthday Sugar!!!
We Love You!!!!!!!!!!!!

Missing Memories....

It is amazing some of the things that we remember from our childhood. There are things that, perhaps, I should forget but still stain my memory still to this day. These are the things that contribute to the pieces of me that often come undone.


My Mom had 4 daughters. She raised us by herself(except for the occasional live in boyfriend), up until the end. I can vividly remember when she started to get sick. I was in the 7th grade and school had been in for about a month.

I remember, it was a Thursday, when I got off the bus and found my Grandfather waiting at the bus stop for us to get off. This was really, really strange, especially being that we were latchkey kids since I was 7 years old.

Being the fat kid I was, I got excited, thinking he was taking us for a snack. But when we got into his Ford Bronco, and he turned off Mahalia Jackson's wailings and got quiet. He took a deep breath and told us that we were going to start staying with Him and Grandma for a while and that our Momma was real sick and was going in the hospital.

Living with my Grandparents was cool, at first. They spoiled us every chance they could. We got all our favorite meals cooked for us (Huge plus in the fat girl department). And because we hastily moved in, we also got new clothes. My sisters and I were oblivious to the hushed conversations that abruptly stopped when we entered the room. Why should we have been, we had just went shopping, got Blue Wack-A-Doo flavored Slurpees before dinner, nobody bothered us about homework, and we were getting ready to have my favorite meal...smothered pork chops, sweet peas & rice pilaf (I have not eaten any of the above meal since).

That following Sunday, after church, we were allowed to go visit my Momma at the hospital...no one prepared us for what were going to see. My plus-sized Momma, had wasted away in a matter of days. The doctor at her bedside patted me on my shoulder while the nurse nearby just shook her head and whispered "Dem poo' babies". None of them had the heart to tell us that our Momma was DYING.... This later on pissed me off. I stayed angry at alot of people because of this and still hang on to threads of hate today. What I also hang on to are the unimportant details that I should forget.

I sometimes have panic attacks because I feel like I can't remember my Momma any more. I have times when it is hard to remember what her face looked like, how her hair was styled, what perfume she wore, her favorite color, her favorite food, how her voice sounded, her favorite song...these missing memories have a tendency to make me come undone....

But then I get a sign, something that I have overlooked many, many times before. It has been kept awaiting the right time to reveal itself to me, in a time when it sooths my aching heart.

My mother passed away at Bethesda Memorial Hospital, in Boynton Beach, Florida on Thursday, September 19, 1991...I was 12 1/2 years old, my sisters, Shahara,11 years old, Crystal (7 years old), Chianti(6 years old)

Fast forward to today...

My Drama Princess has been hounding me to paint her fingernails for days. I just was too busy or it was a tactic to avoid going to bed. I had looked at & painted her nails a thousand times before but had never noticed that she has the oddly long & slender fingers.......that my Momma had.

To this, I say thank you to the universe for sending this RIGHT ON TIME....

Some Funny Stuff!!

I was just put on to this guy by a friend. (Heh, Heh, I'm on him, get it!!) The video is 10 minutes long but it is well worth it. Jeff Dunham is hilarious, now The Professor says he wants to be a ventriloquist....over my dead body!!!




See, I do have friends, this is one of them. I didn't make her up either!!!

That kinda day already...

"They're taking over the damn apartment"....

No, it's not the children, though most days it is....

The Huz has become obsessed with our invasion of ants. It all started with a box of open cereal and it has progressed to The Huz buying 4 different kinds of bug killers. I thought it was getting better with the cleaning we have been doing and putting everything into Ziplock baggies & Tupperware. I think not....

While sitting in my craft corner drinking a glass of water I noticed my tongue getting numb.

WTF!!!!

The Huz went through the cabinets and drawers and sprayed bug spray INSIDE!!!!! ON THE DISHES & SILVERWARE....THAT WE EAT ON...

When I confronted him about it he yelled back....

"They're taking over the damn apartment!"

I'm about to come UNDONE!!!!