Come do a line with me.

Line 1: Your first name.

Shaneka

Line 2: Four descriptive traits.

Soulful, Creative, Intelligent, Nurturing

Line 3: Sibling/Family member of...

Daughter, Sister, cousin, wife, Mom

Line 4: Lover of... (people/ideas/objects/etc)

Lover of my Ipod & Neo-soul music, paints, nice paper/stationary, photography, rich desserts

Line 5: Who feels...

Who feels better about the direction of my life.

Line 6: Who needs...

Who needs to always be confident in herself and her abilities.

Line 7: Who gives...

Who gives a damn.....

Line 8: Who fears...

Who fears debt, disease, and diets.

Line 9: Who would like to see...

Who would like to see the following in concert: Jill Scott, D'Angelo, John Legend, Robin Thicke, Musiq, Rafaael, Dwele, John Mayer, Dave Matthews Band, Mint Condition, and a few others too.
Line 10: Resident of... (your town/city/etc)

Resident of Small Beach Town, Florida, United States

Line 11: Your last name (or you may choose another name to describe yourself).

Suga'

Nothing to see folks....

I really don't have much to blog about. Kinda sucks for you doesn't it.

The kids and I go back to school on Monday....kinda sucks.

I haven't finished all of the projects I wanted to do before going back to work....kinda sucks.

Since I'm not on contract, I don't get paid over Christmas break, REALLY SUCKS!!!

I wanted to take the kids to the museum before going back to school, didn't...kinda sucks.

Folks in the apartment above us have a kid that is out of school too, we hear his every step... kinda sucks

My sister had a baby, NO NOT THAT ONE, and I couldn't be there....kinda sucks.

Still on the look out for a new pad....kinda sucks.

The one house I like, space wise, has a shower I can't squeeze my huge ta-ta's into....kinda sucks.

Not much else going on......

Been a long time...

After being fussed out a bit by a friend about not updating the blog, I decided to get off my butt and do the damn thing. I'm not very good at catch up posts...since y'all know I love my lists, here goes.



Home
Life's okay, house is a mess, always something to clean, lease is up in Feb. wanna move to rent a house, still looking.

Spirituality
Haven't been to church in a month of Sundays, but still pray and meditate a couple times a day. Not feeling the church folk at the current moment.

Kids
Doing great, Professor on Dean's List, Drama Princess on Honor Roll, still hate the school uniforms and rules about dreadlocks. No Rec Basketball this year, really sucks.

Marriage
Going surprisingly well, spending a lot of time together tripping on each other.

Weather
In Florida, it's awesome. No hurricanes, not much rain. It ranges from 50 to 85 degrees. I like this time of year.

Dog
Doing good, hates to be alone during the day when we're at work & school.

Family
Haven't had any surprises lately from Drama Princess' mother(my sister), I maybe speaking too soon with the holidays coming up, she's likely to feel antsy and start more mess.

College
Okay, classes are back to back, no breaks, tons of work in the evenings.

Work
Love the job & kids in my classroom, don't like the admin. and some co-workers, NOTHING NEW!! Commuting working out okay, as long as gas prices stay under $ 1.50/ gallon.

Hair
Still growing, I usually keep it tied up in fear of picking up lice from kids at work, still needs some serious grooming and a good clarifying wash, looking for a new salon that's not gonna break the bank for regular maintenance.

Sooo, how's life for you??

I'm feeling this today....

In the Depths of Solitude

Dedicated to me



I exist in the depths of solitude

pondering my true goal

Trying 2 find peace of mind

and still preserve my soul

CONSTANTLY yearning 2 be accepted

and from all receive respect

Never compromising but sosmetimes risky

and that is my only regret

A young heart with an old soul

how can there be peace

How can I be in the depths of solitude

when there R 2 inside of me

This Duo within me causes

the perfect opportunity

2 learn and live twice as fast

as those who accept simplicity



by Tupac Amaru Shakur

the rose that grew from concrete (c) 1999

Madness in my head

You know how you got a song/thought stuck in your head and you try and try to get it out of there. Well that where I'm at now.......on day 4 of the song on REPEAT in my head.

The song is one that The Professor and I both know. No one else in the fam knows it....I CHECKED!!

Maybe you know what it goes to???

Please help get the madness out of my head!!!

The Song

Oooooolie, oooolie, oooolie, rock is my home, rock is my home.

Oooooolie, oooolie, oooolie, rock is my home, rock is my home.

Maybe this is an omen for my future???

Maybe the a rock will be my home and

this is the chant to honor the rock for allowing me to crash there???

I think I need more sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drama AKA My Sister

So I haven't blogged in a while......shoot me. No really I deserve a kick in the pants because more blogging was apart of my New Year's Resolutions.

I just had to let this go.....

Weeks ago I got a call from the Drama Princess' mom(AKA my sister) asking if she could come and scoop the 'D' Princess for a birthday party (weekend of March 7th) thrown for her girlfriend's son 'Cardo

(girlfriend like bow*wow*chicka bow*wow)

Yep, she's gay!!! Quite the shock to me too!!!

Sooooo, I agree and tell her okay not analyzing all the heavy variables around the dates.

Usually, the weekends spent with DP's mom are disasters waiting to happen
disasters like:

*not returning her on time(no, we are not awake expecting her back at 2am)

*returning her days later(school starts on Monday not Thursday!!!!!)

*returning her smelly

*returning her sick(with ear infections, coughs, diahrrea)

*returning her without feeding her(not a big deal right, try telling DP dinner was at 6pm and not 2am

*returning her with clothing you bought for her that looks like hooker uniforms

*not bringing back herMUCH NEEDED, VERY EXPENSIVE ADHD MEDS

*bring her back with NO SHOES OR JACKET or a combo of both

I hate dealing with any of the above mentioned things in any combonation. but I have to go through this because it is court ordered.

BOTTOM LINE THEY PISS ME OFF.

So now the variables,
this weekend is day light savings time(bad enough she is already late, now she'll be even later)
the big standardized test FCAT (that result in pass or fail 3rd grade)
she is always SUPER DUPER emotional after visits
there's a lot of traffic due to it being Bike Week(another reason to be late)

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

What the hell was I thinking!!!!

Unemployment Hell # 2

Today was a not so good day.....

Last week I interviewed for a super fabolous job. I just knew I was getting it. The hours & days were perfect. The pay was $14/hour. I would still be at home at a decent hour to handle the kids in the afternoons. Kinda close to home. I get government holidays off because it is a county job (which line up with school closings too.) At the close of the interview, one of the two ladies interviewing me kinda gave me the notion that I would be hearing from them soon.

What do you get when you assume......

I heard from them all right......they sent me a lovely rejection letter (addressed to another lady on the inside). Another thanks but no thanks type of letter.

I mean really people.....

I also saw on the Today show this clip with Tyra Banks saying that people were discriminated on because of their first name and assumed things about people based on prejudices.


' scrolling="no" frameborder="0" 20width="425" 20src="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/23234982#23234982">'>this clip,

Ya, think???

What comes to mind when you hear the first name SHANEKA??
Be honest!!!!

Clock Gobblers

Since being unemployed, I have found various ways to gobble the clock (waste time). Most of them involve all of my hobbies; crafting, photography, decorating. Here are some of my favorites:

Cut Out & Keep It--This is awesome for folks that like to "repurpose" trash lying around the house. There are some great tutorials in all kinds of catorgories.

Travel IQ Challenge--I am hooked on this game. You have seconds to locate different spots in the world. High scores are based on speed and how close (in miles) your guess is to the destination. The Professor loves this game and I'm trying to beat his high score.

DIYPhotography.net--This site gives great tutorials on how to play with your cameras and photo editing software.

Microsoft Encarta Quiz Page--I am the best at these quizzes. My brain is a storage of random facts and I do really good at these quizzes.


Instructables--This is a website full of people just like me...with TOO MUCH time on their hands. They have used this time to create some of the oddest things, food, art, crafts, home.

Did I mention that most of the insane tutorials have

pictures to show you exactly how-to??

Wanna build a wheelchair for your dog?

Wanna make Doritos & Onion Pie?

Wanna grow a square watermelon?

That's enough for now, I'll post more clock gobblers another day.

BTW, the job search is still looking dismal. Thanks for the encouraging words.

Plan Derailed...

I started the new year with very positive optimism, really I did. I had a plan in place...but things sometimes don't go as planned. I made the declaration that I was going to seriously start looking for work, and I did. I had a plan....to get a job by the end of January

My plan included getting the paper on Sunday, highlighting all the possible ads to apply to . I color coded the ads---pink for faxed resume, green for emailed resume, blue for online application, yellow for in person application. All positions that looked really appealing, got stars.

On Monday, I would get the family situated in the morning by 7am and start "going to work".

I would go through my list of ads and respond. I even got showered & dressed the part!!!

On Tuesday, I would call the companies to make sure they recieved my resume/application and try to get a name of the Human Resources person to follow up with later in the week.

On Wednsday, I would search our local Pennysaver employment ads. I color coded then--pink for faxed resume, green for emailed resume, blue for online application, yellow for in person application. All positions that looked really appealing, got stars.

It's hard to get the return phone call or automated email response stating that the position was filled by some other slump. I kinda take it personally and get discouraged quickly. I have prayed and prayed for some breakthrough and still to no avail.

I know, I know, maybe GOD has something mind blowing in store for me and is just waiting on me to be patient and put trust in HIM. This becomes increasingly hard as the bill collectors continue to call, daily, nightly, hourly.

I know that I needed to plan for delays or bumps in my plan. But right now I'm just tired......

Sometimes Life Sucks....

I started this post off soooo negatively because sometimes it really does suck, life that is. Today, started off like every Monday in my eternal quest for gainful employment. I dropped The Huz off at the carpool at the ungodly hour of 5AM and saw The Professor & Drama Princess off to school. All of this was done by 7AM. I skipped making coffee to hurry out the door.

Thinking I was getting the jump on all other unemployed cohabitants of America, at the early hour, I set off with my local Sunday classifieds under my arm, all circled the night before, to job search, only to be met by at least 75 other slumps at my Local Unemployment Office.

Defeat before my first cup of coffee………

In my mind, I just knew that all of these people, lined up in the brisk morning air, had the SAME exact ads circled on their copy of the Sunday classifieds. But trying to stay encouraged I shook the negativity off. With freshly copied resumes’ in hand, I got in line, FUMING!!!!! Impatiently shifting my weight from foot to foot, in the most uncomfortable shoes I own, I waited my turn to use the fax machine. I overheard Slump # 63 say , “I shoulda brought a lawn chair and a cooler full of beer”.

My. Thoughts. Exactly.

When my turn came, I stepped up to the exceptionally warmed up fax machine, type in the first 3 digits of my number one job pick, only to have the sophisticated machine clairvoyantly guess the rest of the phone number!!!!!! I press the flashing green button to accept this chronically used number to send my resume to sulk in the pile of resumes that beat mine. When the fax transmission receipt printed, it said the number had been dialed 42 times on January 28, 2008.

F***!!!!!!!!!!

I actually showered & changed for this……..maybe I shoulda stayed in bed!!!!!

Missing Memories....

It is amazing some of the things that we remember from our childhood. There are things that, perhaps, I should forget but still stain my memory still to this day. These are the things that contribute to the pieces of me that often come undone.


My Mom had 4 daughters. She raised us by herself(except for the occasional live in boyfriend), up until the end. I can vividly remember when she started to get sick. I was in the 7th grade and school had been in for about a month.

I remember, it was a Thursday, when I got off the bus and found my Grandfather waiting at the bus stop for us to get off. This was really, really strange, especially being that we were latchkey kids since I was 7 years old.

Being the fat kid I was, I got excited, thinking he was taking us for a snack. But when we got into his Ford Bronco, and he turned off Mahalia Jackson's wailings and got quiet. He took a deep breath and told us that we were going to start staying with Him and Grandma for a while and that our Momma was real sick and was going in the hospital.

Living with my Grandparents was cool, at first. They spoiled us every chance they could. We got all our favorite meals cooked for us (Huge plus in the fat girl department). And because we hastily moved in, we also got new clothes. My sisters and I were oblivious to the hushed conversations that abruptly stopped when we entered the room. Why should we have been, we had just went shopping, got Blue Wack-A-Doo flavored Slurpees before dinner, nobody bothered us about homework, and we were getting ready to have my favorite meal...smothered pork chops, sweet peas & rice pilaf (I have not eaten any of the above meal since).

That following Sunday, after church, we were allowed to go visit my Momma at the hospital...no one prepared us for what were going to see. My plus-sized Momma, had wasted away in a matter of days. The doctor at her bedside patted me on my shoulder while the nurse nearby just shook her head and whispered "Dem poo' babies". None of them had the heart to tell us that our Momma was DYING.... This later on pissed me off. I stayed angry at alot of people because of this and still hang on to threads of hate today. What I also hang on to are the unimportant details that I should forget.

I sometimes have panic attacks because I feel like I can't remember my Momma any more. I have times when it is hard to remember what her face looked like, how her hair was styled, what perfume she wore, her favorite color, her favorite food, how her voice sounded, her favorite song...these missing memories have a tendency to make me come undone....

But then I get a sign, something that I have overlooked many, many times before. It has been kept awaiting the right time to reveal itself to me, in a time when it sooths my aching heart.

My mother passed away at Bethesda Memorial Hospital, in Boynton Beach, Florida on Thursday, September 19, 1991...I was 12 1/2 years old, my sisters, Shahara,11 years old, Crystal (7 years old), Chianti(6 years old)

Fast forward to today...

My Drama Princess has been hounding me to paint her fingernails for days. I just was too busy or it was a tactic to avoid going to bed. I had looked at & painted her nails a thousand times before but had never noticed that she has the oddly long & slender fingers.......that my Momma had.

To this, I say thank you to the universe for sending this RIGHT ON TIME....

Some Funny Stuff!!

I was just put on to this guy by a friend. (Heh, Heh, I'm on him, get it!!) The video is 10 minutes long but it is well worth it. Jeff Dunham is hilarious, now The Professor says he wants to be a ventriloquist....over my dead body!!!




See, I do have friends, this is one of them. I didn't make her up either!!!

That kinda day already...

"They're taking over the damn apartment"....

No, it's not the children, though most days it is....

The Huz has become obsessed with our invasion of ants. It all started with a box of open cereal and it has progressed to The Huz buying 4 different kinds of bug killers. I thought it was getting better with the cleaning we have been doing and putting everything into Ziplock baggies & Tupperware. I think not....

While sitting in my craft corner drinking a glass of water I noticed my tongue getting numb.

WTF!!!!

The Huz went through the cabinets and drawers and sprayed bug spray INSIDE!!!!! ON THE DISHES & SILVERWARE....THAT WE EAT ON...

When I confronted him about it he yelled back....

"They're taking over the damn apartment!"

I'm about to come UNDONE!!!!

New Year's Meme

I saw this MEME on someone's blog and decided to MEME myself....I know how pathetic, right.... I forgot who I lifted this MEME from. Oh well, here goes!!!





1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?

Pick up and move away.....long story!!!



2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I did keep my resolutions from last year, and made a few for this year...



3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My friend, GiGi & my Big Sis adopted ...



4. Did anyone close to you die?

Ummm, no.



5. What countries did you visit?

None, I had no money for that...I would love to go to China, Japan, Australia, Puerto Rico & Haiti



6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

Clarity & Prosperity!!!



7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I was elected as Vice President of PTA for my kids' school. **Go Mommy, Go Mommy!!**



8. What was your biggest failure?

I had quite a few, but mostly all have been resolved.



9. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nope, thank GOD.



10. What was the best thing you bought?

Aside from the assorted craft/scrapbooking stuff, Ummmm, my Cricut!!!



11. Where did most of your money go?

To pay various bills, sad, I know!



12. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Family visits, working, my kids' new school, visit from my BFF.



13. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Happier...

b) thinner or fatter? Fatter...so what!!

c) richer or poorer? Rich in spirit, poor in $$

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Take pictures, spend time playing with my kids & dog, have more dates with The Huz.



15. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Obsess over things not in my control(I should have surrendered it to GOD)!!!



16. What was the best book you read?

Bernice L. McFadden's Nowhere is a Place



17. What did you want and get?

A Provocraft Cricut



18. What did you want and not get?

Honey, did you see my Christmas List??

That plus a fully loaded Chevy Trailblazer ( right now I have to share a car with The Huz)



19. What kept you sane?

Bookstores, Craft Stores, and Libraries, time alone



20. Who did you miss?

My Grandfather, Rudolph (Rudy) Cartwright & my Mother( Joslyn Cartwright)

They both passed away some time ago, but I still miss them terribly.

Resolution Time, Folks!!!

Okay, so

Last year I made only one resolution. My resolution seemed kinda small in comparison to those made by my friends. But, so what!!

I STUCK TO IT!!

My resolution was to take better care of my skin and nails and I did this year. I drank more water, moisturized daily and tried not to pick at pimples.

(Yep, still get pimples even at 20ish yrs old)

I tried to steer clear of making resolutions that would quickly be broken and forgotten. Soooo, I'm gonna stick to the same theme this year.

ME!!!

My resolutions for this year will be to try to eliminate the negative speaking & make more time for myself...

I plan on reading more books, do more crafts, go to the library/bookstore more, all to help with my sanity.

As for eliminating the negative speaking, I'm not going to say I will stop cursing. That would be just plain STUPID!!! I am willing to say that I will stop being sooooo sarcastic and chill with the negativity.

Now, the catch is that I am making this resolution while my kids and husband are home on winter break from school. Will I be able to keep my both resolutions despite them being home all day, every day till school break is over?????

Check back with me January 7th when the Professor, Princess & the Huz go back to school.

OHHH Yeah, how could you let me forget my other resolution is to blog more!!!!!

I just love letting my imaginary internet friends see what's going on with me!!!

Santa Sucks

Dear Santa


YOU suck!!!!

I didn't get shit on my list!!!!

Not even the bleach or Lysol.

Bahhhh Hum bug.

Screw your list!!!

Sincerely,
The Woman Undone

Hope you enjoyed your holidays!!!!!

Okay, so the other day I was checking my email and what do I find in there....an email stating I got 2 comments posted to my blog.

Go Me, Go Me, Go Me!!!!!

Also, I should mention that one of the comments came from a blogger who I have blog envy for!!! (***Really gushing***)

****Doing the Happy Mommy Booty Shake****

Thanks, you guys, that made my day to know that I am not just aimlessly rambling on to my imaginary internet friends!!

My Christmas Wish List

Dear Santa,

Below you will find my Christmas Wish List. I have been a good girl contrary to what others say.

1. A Derek Lam handbag
2. IPOD Classic with accessories
3. ITunes gift card
4. Gift Certificate for regular Spa Treatments
5. Nikon D40 SLR Digital Camera
6. More Provocraft Cricut Cartridges
7. 3" Solid Gold Hoop Earrings
8. An Awesome Set of Sheets
9. Bi-weekly Maid Service for 1 year
10. Unlimited supply of Bleach
11. Unlimited supply of Lysol

I know you are a busy man, so gift cards in the amount of $1000 each to the following stores would be allowed.

Ikea, A.C. Moore, Michaels Arts & Crafts, Home Depot, Lowe's, K-Mart,Wal-Mart & Target

Considering how good I have been this year and the past years you have skipped over me I think this list ought to even us up.

Thanks for your attention in this matter,
The Undone Woman