Another lifetime....

I'm not really good at blogging....yet. I'm working on it with a friend who encourages me with a few * coughs & ahems* who I am totally crushing on.

Is it possible to have a crush on a blog personality??? I know this person is real in the flesh and is some thousands of miles away, but you ever get the feeling that your paths have crossed before, maybe in another lifetime. These folk have a humorous and dark side kinda like me and made me wish miles weren't so many .

{Insert Erykah Badu, "Lifetime" song here}


Ahhhhhhh!!! What am I supposed to do when I want you in my world.....LMAO.

I love me some Neo-soul.

Some serious Dr. Phil/Oprah shit going on

By nature I'm a fixer. I'm the oldest of me and my sisters and it was my job to fix things. For a long time I proved to be very good at "fixing" things, emotions, and people.

Yeah, I said people....

Lately my skills as the fixer have been seriously put to the test and I have failed.

I can not fix my marriage

I can not fix the Drama Princess's mounting emotional issues.

I can not fix the relationship between my sisters and I.

I can not fix my financial situation.

I can not fix my job situation.

I can not fix my dog's scratching/allergy problem.

I can not fix my weight problems.

Notice how my my issue/weight comes last on the list, that may be something that needs to be fixed too...

There I said it.....

I can not fix these things. I do not know where to begin to even try to.....

Anyone who knows me, can attest to how much of a humongous hit to my ego I'm taking for admitting all this.

Wait, is my ego something that needs to be fixed to???

Unemployment Hell # 2

Today was a not so good day.....

Last week I interviewed for a super fabolous job. I just knew I was getting it. The hours & days were perfect. The pay was $14/hour. I would still be at home at a decent hour to handle the kids in the afternoons. Kinda close to home. I get government holidays off because it is a county job (which line up with school closings too.) At the close of the interview, one of the two ladies interviewing me kinda gave me the notion that I would be hearing from them soon.

What do you get when you assume......

I heard from them all right......they sent me a lovely rejection letter (addressed to another lady on the inside). Another thanks but no thanks type of letter.

I mean really people.....

I also saw on the Today show this clip with Tyra Banks saying that people were discriminated on because of their first name and assumed things about people based on prejudices.


' scrolling="no" frameborder="0" 20width="425" 20src="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/23234982#23234982">'>this clip,

Ya, think???

What comes to mind when you hear the first name SHANEKA??
Be honest!!!!

Clock Gobblers

Since being unemployed, I have found various ways to gobble the clock (waste time). Most of them involve all of my hobbies; crafting, photography, decorating. Here are some of my favorites:

Cut Out & Keep It--This is awesome for folks that like to "repurpose" trash lying around the house. There are some great tutorials in all kinds of catorgories.

Travel IQ Challenge--I am hooked on this game. You have seconds to locate different spots in the world. High scores are based on speed and how close (in miles) your guess is to the destination. The Professor loves this game and I'm trying to beat his high score.

DIYPhotography.net--This site gives great tutorials on how to play with your cameras and photo editing software.

Microsoft Encarta Quiz Page--I am the best at these quizzes. My brain is a storage of random facts and I do really good at these quizzes.


Instructables--This is a website full of people just like me...with TOO MUCH time on their hands. They have used this time to create some of the oddest things, food, art, crafts, home.

Did I mention that most of the insane tutorials have

pictures to show you exactly how-to??

Wanna build a wheelchair for your dog?

Wanna make Doritos & Onion Pie?

Wanna grow a square watermelon?

That's enough for now, I'll post more clock gobblers another day.

BTW, the job search is still looking dismal. Thanks for the encouraging words.

Plan Derailed...

I started the new year with very positive optimism, really I did. I had a plan in place...but things sometimes don't go as planned. I made the declaration that I was going to seriously start looking for work, and I did. I had a plan....to get a job by the end of January

My plan included getting the paper on Sunday, highlighting all the possible ads to apply to . I color coded the ads---pink for faxed resume, green for emailed resume, blue for online application, yellow for in person application. All positions that looked really appealing, got stars.

On Monday, I would get the family situated in the morning by 7am and start "going to work".

I would go through my list of ads and respond. I even got showered & dressed the part!!!

On Tuesday, I would call the companies to make sure they recieved my resume/application and try to get a name of the Human Resources person to follow up with later in the week.

On Wednsday, I would search our local Pennysaver employment ads. I color coded then--pink for faxed resume, green for emailed resume, blue for online application, yellow for in person application. All positions that looked really appealing, got stars.

It's hard to get the return phone call or automated email response stating that the position was filled by some other slump. I kinda take it personally and get discouraged quickly. I have prayed and prayed for some breakthrough and still to no avail.

I know, I know, maybe GOD has something mind blowing in store for me and is just waiting on me to be patient and put trust in HIM. This becomes increasingly hard as the bill collectors continue to call, daily, nightly, hourly.

I know that I needed to plan for delays or bumps in my plan. But right now I'm just tired......

Sometimes Life Sucks....

I started this post off soooo negatively because sometimes it really does suck, life that is. Today, started off like every Monday in my eternal quest for gainful employment. I dropped The Huz off at the carpool at the ungodly hour of 5AM and saw The Professor & Drama Princess off to school. All of this was done by 7AM. I skipped making coffee to hurry out the door.

Thinking I was getting the jump on all other unemployed cohabitants of America, at the early hour, I set off with my local Sunday classifieds under my arm, all circled the night before, to job search, only to be met by at least 75 other slumps at my Local Unemployment Office.

Defeat before my first cup of coffee………

In my mind, I just knew that all of these people, lined up in the brisk morning air, had the SAME exact ads circled on their copy of the Sunday classifieds. But trying to stay encouraged I shook the negativity off. With freshly copied resumes’ in hand, I got in line, FUMING!!!!! Impatiently shifting my weight from foot to foot, in the most uncomfortable shoes I own, I waited my turn to use the fax machine. I overheard Slump # 63 say , “I shoulda brought a lawn chair and a cooler full of beer”.

My. Thoughts. Exactly.

When my turn came, I stepped up to the exceptionally warmed up fax machine, type in the first 3 digits of my number one job pick, only to have the sophisticated machine clairvoyantly guess the rest of the phone number!!!!!! I press the flashing green button to accept this chronically used number to send my resume to sulk in the pile of resumes that beat mine. When the fax transmission receipt printed, it said the number had been dialed 42 times on January 28, 2008.

F***!!!!!!!!!!

I actually showered & changed for this……..maybe I shoulda stayed in bed!!!!!

Happy Birthday Sugar

Today 3 years ago I went to Petsmart to buy fish food and walked out with a dog. The Huz was talking about buying me a dog, and we had even went to the local pet shelter to search one out. They were all too big for our apartment or had too many issues. I was only in the store for fish food and was followed by a little fluff ball. Second Chance Rescue made weekend appearances at Petsmart with potential pups. After hearing My Sugar's story I had to give in....

Sugar was abandoned in Lousiana during Hurricane Katrina. The folks from Second Chance Rescue went and brought back animals that survived and nursed them all back to health. My Sugar was a lucky one. Sugar has a list of issues including she has to have her meals cooked for her due to her wheat & dye allergy and also has a severe flea allergy too. Did I also mention she has terrible separation anxiety and hates to be alone (must be a hurricane thing). She gets nervous and chews on whatever's close when she is left at home long.

3 years ago we adopted Sugar and ALL her issues and brought her home.

Happy Birthday Sugar!!!
We Love You!!!!!!!!!!!!

Missing Memories....

It is amazing some of the things that we remember from our childhood. There are things that, perhaps, I should forget but still stain my memory still to this day. These are the things that contribute to the pieces of me that often come undone.


My Mom had 4 daughters. She raised us by herself(except for the occasional live in boyfriend), up until the end. I can vividly remember when she started to get sick. I was in the 7th grade and school had been in for about a month.

I remember, it was a Thursday, when I got off the bus and found my Grandfather waiting at the bus stop for us to get off. This was really, really strange, especially being that we were latchkey kids since I was 7 years old.

Being the fat kid I was, I got excited, thinking he was taking us for a snack. But when we got into his Ford Bronco, and he turned off Mahalia Jackson's wailings and got quiet. He took a deep breath and told us that we were going to start staying with Him and Grandma for a while and that our Momma was real sick and was going in the hospital.

Living with my Grandparents was cool, at first. They spoiled us every chance they could. We got all our favorite meals cooked for us (Huge plus in the fat girl department). And because we hastily moved in, we also got new clothes. My sisters and I were oblivious to the hushed conversations that abruptly stopped when we entered the room. Why should we have been, we had just went shopping, got Blue Wack-A-Doo flavored Slurpees before dinner, nobody bothered us about homework, and we were getting ready to have my favorite meal...smothered pork chops, sweet peas & rice pilaf (I have not eaten any of the above meal since).

That following Sunday, after church, we were allowed to go visit my Momma at the hospital...no one prepared us for what were going to see. My plus-sized Momma, had wasted away in a matter of days. The doctor at her bedside patted me on my shoulder while the nurse nearby just shook her head and whispered "Dem poo' babies". None of them had the heart to tell us that our Momma was DYING.... This later on pissed me off. I stayed angry at alot of people because of this and still hang on to threads of hate today. What I also hang on to are the unimportant details that I should forget.

I sometimes have panic attacks because I feel like I can't remember my Momma any more. I have times when it is hard to remember what her face looked like, how her hair was styled, what perfume she wore, her favorite color, her favorite food, how her voice sounded, her favorite song...these missing memories have a tendency to make me come undone....

But then I get a sign, something that I have overlooked many, many times before. It has been kept awaiting the right time to reveal itself to me, in a time when it sooths my aching heart.

My mother passed away at Bethesda Memorial Hospital, in Boynton Beach, Florida on Thursday, September 19, 1991...I was 12 1/2 years old, my sisters, Shahara,11 years old, Crystal (7 years old), Chianti(6 years old)

Fast forward to today...

My Drama Princess has been hounding me to paint her fingernails for days. I just was too busy or it was a tactic to avoid going to bed. I had looked at & painted her nails a thousand times before but had never noticed that she has the oddly long & slender fingers.......that my Momma had.

To this, I say thank you to the universe for sending this RIGHT ON TIME....

That kinda day already...

Resolution Time, Folks!!!

Okay, so

Last year I made only one resolution. My resolution seemed kinda small in comparison to those made by my friends. But, so what!!

I STUCK TO IT!!

My resolution was to take better care of my skin and nails and I did this year. I drank more water, moisturized daily and tried not to pick at pimples.

(Yep, still get pimples even at 20ish yrs old)

I tried to steer clear of making resolutions that would quickly be broken and forgotten. Soooo, I'm gonna stick to the same theme this year.

ME!!!

My resolutions for this year will be to try to eliminate the negative speaking & make more time for myself...

I plan on reading more books, do more crafts, go to the library/bookstore more, all to help with my sanity.

As for eliminating the negative speaking, I'm not going to say I will stop cursing. That would be just plain STUPID!!! I am willing to say that I will stop being sooooo sarcastic and chill with the negativity.

Now, the catch is that I am making this resolution while my kids and husband are home on winter break from school. Will I be able to keep my both resolutions despite them being home all day, every day till school break is over?????

Check back with me January 7th when the Professor, Princess & the Huz go back to school.

OHHH Yeah, how could you let me forget my other resolution is to blog more!!!!!

I just love letting my imaginary internet friends see what's going on with me!!!

Santa Sucks

Dear Santa


YOU suck!!!!

I didn't get shit on my list!!!!

Not even the bleach or Lysol.

Bahhhh Hum bug.

Screw your list!!!

Sincerely,
The Woman Undone

Hope you enjoyed your holidays!!!!!

Okay, so the other day I was checking my email and what do I find in there....an email stating I got 2 comments posted to my blog.

Go Me, Go Me, Go Me!!!!!

Also, I should mention that one of the comments came from a blogger who I have blog envy for!!! (***Really gushing***)

****Doing the Happy Mommy Booty Shake****

Thanks, you guys, that made my day to know that I am not just aimlessly rambling on to my imaginary internet friends!!

Dropped Off The Face Of The Earth

To my imaginary friends who read and respond to my blog,

I apologize for not posting lately. I have taken a temporary leave of my senses....literally, and promise to reopen the window to my brain again once it is located....again. I have had a lot on my plate to deal with and have not been able to slow the thoughts down enough to type and post them. I am not exactly sure how to divulge the details or if I even want to share them yet. Just know that I was lost, but now am found again, PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

Vaguely yours,
The Woman Undone....