Dear Apartment #1012

Dear Apartment # 1012,

I can not began to tell you how much I HATE you. I can not exactly put my finger on the one point in our relationship that soured my feelings towards you.

Is it the super small kitchen that can not fit 2 adults at the same time?
The odd floor plans that don't allow for normal shaped couch?
Is the grossly stained carpet throughout the apartment?
Is it the ceiling fans that sound like they are going to fall on your head?
Is it the weird neighbors in close proximity?
Is it the NON-handy Handy man sent to fix things he does not know how to fix?
Is it the lack of space for the rest of the crap we accumulate daily?

We have just 2 adults, 2 children and 1 dog. THAT'S IT!!! Why isn't there more space???? The brochure said it comfortably fits up to a family of 8. Where, I don't know!!! When I compare our square footage to those of our friend's apartments they envy us, but them I ask them why??? There isn't one square foot of the floor of the apartment that is empty. My many attempts of organizing have failed. No amount of Rubbermaid®, Ziplock®, or Tupperware® can save our relationship.

I would like to break up with you very soon but lack the money to do so. So I guess we are stuck with each other. So, please let's be adults about this and try to make it work.

P. S. Please tell your friend, Apartment # 1022, above us to keep their loud footsteps and odd smells to a minimum please???

Yours truly,
Upset Occupant